By: A Survivor Not a Victim
May 10, 2018
Finding a way to cope with your assault is very important because it gives you an outlet to channel all your thoughts, feelings, and emotions through. There are many healthy ways in which a person can cope, and unfortunately, there are also many self-destructive ways. This post will focus on the positive ways because when you are already in such a negative state, it is hard to think of positive ways to cope. I’ve been there; I have been through harmful coping mechanisms, and they made me spiral down deeper and deeper into the darkness. So, I’m going to talk about what other people do that helps them to cope, and I’m going to talk about what I do to manage. Please comment below if you do something not listed because I’d love to know! There is no “manual” on how to recover from rape, sexual assault, domestic violence, molestation, incest, or sexual abuse.
Art is one way people cope. Art comes in many forms, from painting, drawing, writing, poetry, making collages, photography, performance art (if you play or want to learn to play a musical instrument), ceramic/pottery, and making sculptures. Now, you don’t have to be an artist. You only have to enjoy what you are doing. I always wanted to paint, but I never knew how. I can draw, but I didn’t find it an effective coping mechanism for me (but hey, at least I tried it, right? I tried a “Paint Nite” where you go to the website, pick a painting you like and the location, and then they teach you how to paint it. It was really fun, and the paintings came out like the one they showed you! I have done several of these.
Reading is another coping mechanism. It allows you to escape into a place of your choosing. Whatever genre of material you like, pick up some great books and get lost in them. At least for a moment, you will be able to focus your thoughts somewhere else.
Gardening allows you to use your creativity and foster new life and new beginnings. If you like gardening but live in the city and need an area where you can garden, there are many community gardens all around. If this appeals to you, search for community gardens in your city. You don’t need to garden outside; get creative with indoor plants and design an indoor garden in any room!
Volunteering is something many people find to be therapeutic. You may love animals and would like to volunteer at an animal shelter. Maybe helping people experiencing homelessness is more your style, so going and volunteering at a soup kitchen or a local shelter would be a fit for you. Perhaps you prefer to donate blood and help with the efforts that go along with that, so an organization like the Red Cross or local blood drives would be something that you can focus a bit of your energy on. Or you might enjoy visiting older people in nursing homes. There are so many elderly folks who never receive any visitors. One thing I haven’t done yet, but I want to, is gather flowers, write cards or notes, and take them to a local nursing home to distribute a flower and a personal card to residents who may not have many visitors and sit with them for a while, providing company and conversation.
Exercising is one of my favorite coping mechanisms, helping me navigate challenges like sexual assault and various other life trials in general.
Types of exercise include walking, jogging, running, yoga, pilates, cross-fit, dancing, boxing, kickboxing, lifting weights, Zumba, aerobics, bike riding, spin class, martial arts, swimming, rowing, horseback riding, or playing a sport you like. I box. I box because it allows me to channel my anger and frustrations out on the bag. It is also a great and challenging workout! I also practice yoga as a means of meditation since it helps me maintain mental clarity and presence, which can be challenging for me.
Hopefully, this information will be helpful to you, if not now (which is entirely understandable), then at some point in the future when you are ready.
A Survivor Not a Victim 