By: A Survivor Not a Victim
May 17, 2016
I research the topic of rape every day of the week. I do this because I’m looking for many things: answers, help, blog post ideas, etc.
One thing I have been researching a lot lately is how to cope with being raped. I still do not understand how anyone can do this (but I know that so many are stronger than me and have been successful at this). It is like I’m looking for the secret.
Every article I read says the same things: Seek counseling, talk about it with trusted family and friends, know that it is not your fault, realize that the perpetrator should be the one who feels guilty, not you, etc.
I have been actively doing everything these articles say, seeking help, but to no avail. Coping does not seem to be in the cards for me. I wake up every single night sweating from nightmares, except for one night recently. I have flashbacks; I am scared, jumpy, depressed, emotional. I will be okay one minute, and the next minute, I feel like I am about to cry and lose it because memories come flooding back at random times. How long does this go on for? I just want my life back! I was so happy, and now I don’t like who I am. I’m exhausted; I hardly eat or sleep, and I feel like I’m barely surviving. And for once, it doesn’t seem to matter how much research I do, I cannot find an answer or solution.
A Survivor Not a Victim 
Thank you 🙂
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I am so sorry you had to go through such a horrible experience. I can’t imagine recovering from it, but the fact that you’re writing about it and named your blog “a survivor not a victim” shows how strong you are and how you’re perhaps unconsciously overcoming this nightmare. I hope you stay strong and that time heals your pain.
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