A Survivor Not a Victim

Overcoming Rape


“Who I’m- survivor of Sexual assault(s), 23 years old, nationality Indian, Living in Canada.
Few years ago, I went overseas for my Studies. I was staying with my dad’s brother, my uncle who had bad drinking habits. I never get to know my dad’s family very well because they were living overseas. I was around 10 years old when I saw them last time. They were visiting us for 1-2 weeks that time. its been long time since i saw them last time, and now I was about to live with this family of my dad. Day comes, and now I was living with them. everything was good for first 1-2 months, but then things were changing especially my uncle. He was watching me each and every second I was in that house, while I’m sleeping, watching TV, or preparing my food, when I’m getting ready like all the time. He was like staring at me, I saw him making faces, blowing kisses, whistling and touching himself while he was watching me. I was getting scared, but I pretended that I never saw him doing any of it. Terrible part was he was doing this in front of everyone and no one was saying anything to him. He started making excuses to touch me or get closer to me. His touch was scaring me.

I was sharing my room with my grandmother, and my sister. He started coming to my room drunk even my grandma and sister are in there too. He knew I was scared. Every time he was looking at me, he had that scary smile or laugh on his face. My grandparents, his wife was blaming me for his behavior because as they said I wear half sleeves which was provoking him. Whenever he was drunk I asked my grandmother to give him his meal. He realized that I’m ignoring him. Now his anger was coming out. He started yelling at us (me and my sister), and my grandparents. He started hitting his wife and my grandmother, started bitching at my parents and us. He was punching into wall, throwing TV remotes at everyone and breaking laptops and TVs by punching. He was replacing broken TV with New TV again and again (can’t even count how many times). He was coming to my room and lay on my lap in front of my grandparents and his wife. Every time I was running/or pushing him away, we were facing his anger. It was everyday story. I remember sitting in the corner of my cousin’s room, scared, closed eyes, covering my ears while he was screaming my name outside. To calm him down, my grandparents and his wife makes me sit next to him in living room. Where he was touching my thighs, trying to kiss me, rotating my face to look at him. I can’t forget his scary face and laugh. No one was stopping him, he was coming to my room every other night. He was touching me, kissing me, rubbing his penis against me and I was just crying, frozen physically and mentally; doing nothing. Darkness of night and tic tic of the clock was killing me. All this was so regular that everyone in that house was now ignoring everything. They were letting him do whatever he wanted. I was not sleeping anymore. 4-5 days continuously without sleep (not even for 15 minutes) was my normal routine now. If ever I fell sleep by mistake, there was there staring at me in my room. No one was helping me in that house, so I tried telling people at my college, people just ignored. My physical and mental health everything got effected. I started missing my school, work, stopped my social life. I was too scared that I lived there for 2 years. I got so affected mentally that I was not able to remember who I was or what my name was. I remember going to my college once and I sat there, cried for 45 minutes because I didn’t remember who and where I was, and what I was doing there. Streets, college students, college building everything seems familiar but was unknown. Throughout my life; from when I was 4-5 until now I had these memories or blur flashbacks of my childhood. During childhood and my teenage years, my life, my Actions was not making any sense to me. I was touching myself since I was 5 may be. I didn’t know what I was doing, I was just feeling good. Making things clear here, I didn’t know what was sex until I was 17. It funny that until my 17th, I believed that kissing each other on lips is sex. I know this is stupid, and childish. This put smile on my face right now that how childish I was but makes me sad too that I was unaware that I innocence had been already taken away. I hate myself that how could I like touching myself. These memories were of my early childhood, I was 3-4 year old. Few of these memories are, my 19-20 years cousin brother choking me with his penis, fingering and licking my vagina every day for 4-6 months in my own house. Remember that I was 3-4 that time. Oh boy, my body is shaking with fear now… [Pause]. All I remember after that is crying from pain and cleaning my own blood from my vagina. I was too young to understand that what it was. So, I recover from this thing somehow. May be because I didn’t know what that was, or I was too young to understand.


Anyways, my uncle thing trigger all those memories causing more psychological damage. I stop fighting physically. I stayed there in that house with my uncle 2 years. I was dead from inside, no emotions at all. I was feeling nothing, totally numb. I was not talking to anyone anymore. If someone was starting a conversation, I was not answering properly. So people stop talking to me either. Now my grandparents were angry at me too because I was the reason of every problem in that house. He and my fear both didn’t let me sleep every night. I started falling asleep in day when he is not at home. But my grandparents will not let me especially. They start checking out my bags, purses, looking for money. My grandma used to prepare dinner for everyone. She stopping preparing my food. I was eating not even once per day. I was not feeling like eating. My body messed up, physically, emotionally, everything was changed. If I was eating, half of 6 inch means 3 inch subway once a day or milk or something similar. That was my food for day for almost a more than year. I lose my weight, Got dark circles, anxiety problems, major depression… I was not myself anymore. My doctor put me on anti-depressants and sleeping pills.

Finally one day, I broke down emotionally and told one of my former classmate who was active in social groups. He contacted a social worker and police. I was out from that house now and my uncle got arrested and released. I pressed the charges and got restraining order against him. All he got was probation and prohibited of consumption of alcohol for 1 year. It’s been more than a year that I’m out from that house but I’m still on high dose of anti-depressants and sleeping pills.

I thought end of the story is end of my pain. But this didn’t stop here. I found this video of a local popular you-tuber from my community about his recovery from major depression. I was overwhelmed. I know this guy through my former friends/classmates and met him once or twice before. But never talked to him. He is good comedian, and I used to watch his videos. So his depression video goes viral and he told that he would love to talk to anyone about depression if anyone wants and suffering from it. He was former students of my college too, so I text him on social media. My first message to him was, “Hi how are you? I need your help. Please help me. Tell me what help you got/how did you survive this depression?” I was so overwhelmed, I was just throwing question after question. He told me that He would like to talk about it in person. So I said yes. I got text from him another day that If I have time today we can meet today. Again, I said yes. He told me that he is coming with his female friend, where I wants to meet? When I heard that he is coming with his female friend, I got comfortable and I said at my place. I was not OK to talk about incident or depression in public. It was around 10 pm. He sent me a text that they are 5 minutes away from my house. Bell rang!!! I opened the door, He came in. He was alone. I asked him where his friend is. He said he dropped her at some place. Now I was scared, and totally uncomfortable. He sat at one side of the sofa and I’m at other end. I was having maximum distance from him I can. As I was talking about depression, He starts coming closer. I told him that He should stay there where he is as I’m not comfortable. I repeated myself 3-4 times. He didn’t stop. He hold my hands, and started rubbing it on his chest. He was rubbing his penis against me. Reminding me of my uncle, my fucking body was frozen again. I didn’t fight him physically. But kept saying no, Stop this, no stop this please. He Masturbated and left. I spent my all night sitting on the floor with fear. I felt guilty that I invited him at my place and didn’t fight back. He gave me marks of bites all over my neck. I hate this body. I wish I could get rid of it. I wish I could cut my fucking vagina. Why did I survive my childhood abuse? Why I’m still alive? I was so strong, what happened to me? Why men are so strong that I can’t push them away? Why the fucking I …what the fuck I’m doing here. Why the fuck I’m alive. I hate myself, you know why? I confronted him when he sent me text again one day, He apologized and I fucking believed him. I thought it was all misunderstanding, because i invited him at my place and he took it in wrong way. but I didn’t invited him alone, he was coming with his female friend. And I was saying no. We argue over this, and I felt he is really sorry for his actions. I accepted his apologized. Next thing I remember, he asking me that “so we are not having any misunderstanding anymore. Everything is clear right?” I said, “Yes”. He said you wants to go for coffee, I took it as sorry. Again, this stupid me said yes to him, and trusted him again. We went for coffee, we talked. Everything was clear. I felt that he is sorry. I asked him to drop me at my place, we get into car. Next thing, he was masturbating. I was shocked. Car was locked, it was really dark outside, no car, except some bike Gang members may be. I told him to drop me home. He said lets go. Instead of dropping me at my place, He went to his place. Car stopped!! I asked him where are we? He said this is my home. I said, “I thought you’re dropping me at my place.” HE said yes I’m. I need to pick something, you should also have some water, come inside. It will not take long. He started touching me again. I told him stop stop stop stop please don’t stop stop for more than an hour. At this point, he was screaming, yelling at me. He was angry. All he said was stop pretending. My phone was dead, I didn’t know my location. I knew I was not going anywhere. If I ran, He’s gonna get me. He will beat me up to death, He will lock me up and will rape me every day. I was scared for my life, not just for getting raped. He spared me life, but I was raped all night…
I didn’t tell anymore for 5 months that I got raped, that It happened again. But it was all my fault, if i hadn’t been contact him at first place, If i hadn’t been so scared, If i hadn’t been trusted him again. and now I refusing to admit that I had been raped, that I let myself raped again..I just can’t give up the sense of control that I rebuild again and again. I just can’t.

I told my counselor and police few weeks ago. i’m just not able to admit that I had been assaulted again. this can’t be right!! this can’t be happening again.”



Sexual Harassment Starts Younger Than One Would Think

Author: Anonymous

“Everybody always talks about how when they got to their 16, 17, 18, and 19 years, and how they faced sexual harassment almost daily, but no one ever talks about how it starts much sooner. I’ve been experiencing sexual harassment since at least fourth grade.

In fourth grade (I went to a rough school), kids were discovering twerking, or, as it was called at the time, the “booty dance” (stupid, I know, but we were fourth grade). Guys would go to the curviest girl in the grade (me) and ask them to do the booty dance for them. If we didn’t, they would threaten us. Petty little things, like “I’ll steal your homework and shove it in the toilet” or “I won’t let you out on the playground” but in fourth grade, those were awful threats. So, I learned how to twerk and entertain the boys.

In sixth grade, I was walking to my desk, right in front of a teacher, and a guy slapped my ass and called me his bitch. The teacher looked away and pretended she never saw. I asked her why she didn’t do anything, and she said “boys will be boys”.

8th grade was awful. Guys figured out that the teachers wouldn’t punish them for harassment, so they went overboard. I remember a guy grabbing my backpack while it was on my back and humping it. Guys would walk by me and my friends seat and yank our hair and say “ya like that hoe?” guys would push us to the floor on the bus and pretend to fuck us. I remember a guy pulling a knife on me because I said no to his advances.

Everyone always talks about harassment in girl’s later teenage years, but people rarely realize that it happens when we’re young, too, we’re just to blind to see it.”

not alone.jpg

I agree with this author, and I think that a large part of the problem with sexual harassment and rape today is that issues like what the author are not addressed. Children are taught at a very young age that “boys will be boys” or that when someone sees an inappropriate action being done to another person, that the “correct” thing to do is look the other way. These types of attitudes must change!

Road to Recovery…When Does It End?

It has been exactly 8 months since I was raped (actually 8 months yesterday because it is after midnight). I am  not doing much better at all, I am still having awful nightmares; the went a way for a couple of weeks, but not for long, migraines are in full swing (this one is 7 days long!) and I miss so much work because of them. I had stopped blogging because all I think about is rape, and I thought that taking a break might help – but it hasn’t.

I don’t want to live in this world anymore

What have any of you survivors who read my blog do/have done that help’s? I don’t know what to do. I need to change my life around, I miss being happy and full of joy, and I want it back. He took so much from me!

I came across this great read:

I immediately started crying because of this (in particular the bold)

I rarely meet a woman who has experienced rape and is comfortable using that word. In fact, in my experience most try to avoid it and instead use language such as “I had an incident,” “You could say that he touched me,” or “I had sex with him but didn’t really want to.”

That almost  what I said to my boyfriend via text the day I was raped, and because of that, the police did not take me seriously. I was in shock and horror and…who want’t to say or write that out loud to anyone, let alone themselves or a boyfriend! I said, “We had sex but I didn’t want to”. Not only that but I also described that I woke up and he was on top  of me inside me. But police and DA’s in this country take the word over a Rapist every time.

I have been searching for ways to overcome this, and I see the same things….forgive yourself, blame the rapist, talk to family and friends, exercise, volunteer, therapy….I am having a very hard time finding something that helps. At first, about a month after, I forced myself to go out and do things – be social. Now I don’t want to talk to anyone, I am starting to feel weird around my boyfriend, and  just really wish I could find some answers.I miss…….



This Conversation Is Too Funny

This two parakeets are adorable!  Lol


When Is The Justice System Going To Finally Stand Up For Rape Victims?


When is the justice system going to start speaking up for survivors? !?!

Yes, there are a lot of great rape cases with strong evidence where the victim is too afraid / traumatized or any other of a million other reasons why they don’t want to persue a criminal case. BUT. ..what about the MAJORITY of rape victims,  which the District attorney office constantly refuses to press charges for, despite the victim’s dire want for justice?  Those  (I am am one of them )…those victims /survivors are unfortunately the majority of society.


When are the district attorney offices going to stand against the beliefs of rape culture and society,  and attempt to gain justice for rape victims?

How are rape laws supposed to change if DA’S don’t persue the “tough cases”. The more “tough cases” they try, eventually,  the more they will win.  This will perpetuate more case law regarding rape,  thus leading to more and more “tough case ” convictions  (eventually. ..obviously it is going to be a struggle and a slow process,  but it MUST start somewhere )

images (24)

The way it stands currently,  no one is looking out for victims.  And victim advocates have EXTREMELY limated resources,  connections,  and are honestly not taken seriously.  In my personal opinion,  agencies only deal with them to  “look like they are concerned ” when in reality,  they are not.

It is high time for a change in the justice systems and in the sexual assault units. …when….when are rape victims going to be taken seriously?


The Massachusetts DCF Has No Issues With Having Employees With 209A Restraining Orders

images (23)

Given the fact that the Department of Children and Family Services is supposed to work to protect children and families against domestic violence and abuse,  I find it extremely concerning that despite multiple attempts to inform them that a current employee, who has not even been employed 6 months yet, has received a 2 year extension on a 209A restraining order, I have not received any phone calls back concerning this issue.


For those who are unaware,  there are very few reasons that one of these restraining orders can be granted in Massachusetts,  those consist of;

”Abuse”, the occurrence of one or more of the following acts between family or household members:

(a) attempting to cause or causing physical harm;

(b) placing another in fear of imminent serious physical harm;

(c) causing another to engage involuntarily in sexual relations by force, threat or duress.

State employees are subject to CORI checks. DCF employees are subject to up to and including a stage two,  which includes any and all civil issues  (this includes restraining orders ).

I don’tknow the nature of his position,  but if it includes a CORI check to that extent,  the DCF needs to take this issue seriously.  He (to my probable knowledge ) has access to the personal information if the vulnerable population,  because to my knowledge,  his position concerns IT  (but I could be misinformed) either way,  the DCF needs to invistigate this matter.  If I had to deal with the DCF, I mostly certainly would not feel comfortable with this man having  (or potentially having ) access to my personal information.

images (22)

The Justice System Doesn’t Care About Rape Victims In The USA

I have been doing a lot of thinking. About what I have been going through.  I am completely and utterly disgusted with the justice systems in Massachusetts,  and then Suffolk County DA Office.

The ADA actually asked me if I really thought that he didn’t make a mistake  because “people sometimes change their minds “. I was so incredibly infuriated,  but I didn’t give him a piece of my mind like I would normally do in a situation like that. I was just too shocked,  because I could see in his eyes that he was serious.

images (17)

NO! I  have never EVER had feelings or curiosities about the rapist in a sexual way. …EVER!! That is why when earlier in the night,  I told him that I would NEVER SLEEP WITH HIM.  I never change my mind.  I have never felt that way towards him, and I can’t sleep with someone if I am not into them. …I have never been able to do that.

images (20)

I just really can’t believe that there was never an attempt to get a statement from him. Especially because he has changed his story under oath on record.  An initial statement from when I initially made the rep could have really helped my case.  In my opinion, this is gross neglect regarding rape  on the hands of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts .


And,  if you read my blog,  to top it off,  he works for the Department of children and families. …disgusting, people are not safe.

images (18).jpg

He needs to be changed for this.  He needs to be held responsible .

The justice system the majority of rape victims every day. There is almost no justice for victims of rape.

images (16)


Rape, Boston Massachusetts, & A DCF Employee

images (13)

I was raped in February by my former roommate.  He started a new job at the Department of Children and Families two days after he raped me.  So yes…he clearly passed the background check.


My restraining order has recently been extended for two years  (the judge hardly batted an eye while granting it) and amended the order to keep the rapist away from my place of employment.

images (12)

I told the detective that the rapist worked for DCF. Additionally,  I recently had a  meeting with the DA’s office.  I  spoke with an ADA about a lot of things.  About how my rapist was never questioned or asked to give a statement when I filed a police report.  I also told the ADA thatthe rapist works for DCF. The ADA did not appear concerned at all. This is appalling and frightening to me. This rapist, this dispicable excuse for a person works for an agency who deals with a vulnerable population.  He either has direct access to the vulnerable population,  or access to their personal information.  They are NOT SAFE with him being an emphasis of DCF. Apparently,  the Suffolk County Justice System doesn’t seem to care.

images (14)

RAPE: I Don’t Know How Much More Of This I Can Take

images (13)

I am feeling the end of my breaking point!  The DA won’t charge my rapist, he wasn’t even questioned,  nor was there even an an attempt made to get a statement from him.


During the restraining order extention hearings  (two of them ) his story changed,  mine has never changed .

I am not willing to give up yet,  but I don’t know how much more that I can take.  I have no doubt in my mind that he will rape again  (he probably has raped before ). I  don’t want to loose hope,  but he has already taken so much away from me,  I just don’t know know how much more of this I can bare.

download (1)

I Came Forward, I Want To Press Charges & The DA Won’t Do Anything

images (8)

I was raped by my former roommate on February 14th 2016. I filed a police report.  Within less than 48 hours I was told that the DA would not be moving forward with the case.

images (1)

In fact,  I met with the DA this past Tuesday,  and it was confirmed that there was not even an attempt made to get a statement from my rapist.


Two weeks ago,  a judge granted a two year restraining order extention against my rapist because  (judges words) “My story was credible”. In fact,  on record and under oath,  the story of my rapist changed”.

I am just outraged.  I have no doubt in my mind that this dirt bag will do this again to someone.  And…..and, he works for the Department of children and families in Massachusetts!  His first day was 2 day’s after he raped me,  so he passed the background check.  When I told this to the DA, he was not concerned.

I refuse to give up, because I KNOW that this rapist knew EXACTLY what he was doing,  and I have  NO doubt in my mind that he will do it again. IF I had even the slightest bit of doubt,  even just a hair…I would drop it. But I don’t.

He didn’t accept no for an answer,  so why should I.  I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure that he can’t do this to anyone else EVER AGAIN!



I’m (We Are ALL) Living In Rape Culture; This Conversation Actually Happened Last Night

images (1)

Last night I was talking with a “friend” who I had previously confided about being raped. We were talking because I was upset, I am having such a hard time moving on. My life is a mess, I am not myself, and I feel ruined.

As we were talking she said, “How do you even know for sure that you were raped? How do you know that is the whole story? What he did was wrong, but how do you know for sure that it was rape? You said yourself that you were so drunk, and you woke up to him on top of you and in you. How do you know that you were’t black out? I don’t think if a person is drunk that it really can be rape”

images (6)
Are you FUCKING ME?!?!?! I told her that regardless, even though I completely disagree with her, I told him no that night, that “I was never going to sleep with him” What he did WAS rape. I did not give consent, in fact I already told him no earlier, and I was not in a position to give consent. She said that I was drunk, and that I should have never gotten in the bed with him in the fist place….I was completely shocked to be hearing  this…from her. He was in my bed, in my room. I didn’t know why, I as shitfaced, tired, and figured that since I knew I made it clear that I would never have sex, that I had nothing to worry about. I was wearing clothes…it isn’t like I went to bed naked!! I had no idea that he would do that to me. And I couldn’t believe what she was saying. We argued about this for an hour, and it just made me sick. She really thinks that if a person is drunk, they cannot be raped. 

I have been a mess all day. I already feel like shit, and cannot cope with what happened, then I hear this from a supposed “friend” who was “trying to help”. What she is doing is victim blaming, making excuses for rapists, and saying that it is ok to rape drunk people.

I was raped, I have not doubt about it. There is no other explanation, no excuse. It doesn’t matter if I was drunk, he raped me, period, end of story. If this is what a “friend” thinks of certain types of rape situations, then what does the majority of society think. This is a prime example of rape culture….and it needs to end!


Being Raped Has Ruined My Life – I Live In A Constant State Of FEAR

images (3)

Being raped is on of the worst experiences that a person can live through.  The aftermath of rape is equally as terrible. As if being raped isn’t bad enough,  the trauma from that event, the memories,  the scars….they last forever.

It is bad enough that I am TERRIFIED to leave my house,  or work once I arrive there safely.  This is my everyday reality.images (2)

My roommate left a few days ago,  and he won’t be back till next week.  I am petrified.  To the point where I sleep with a kitchen knife under my pillow.

It is completely unfair. My rapist lives his live unaccountable for his actions, untouched, unharmed, hell, I would not even be surprised if he jerks off to that morning and what he did to me. And I, am cursed to continue to live with flashbacks, nightmares, fear, visions, the inability to concentrate, sleep and eat.

I live every day of my life in fear, to the point where on most day’s, at least once, I become so overwhelmed with fear that I start to shake uncontrollably, and most day’s this happens more than once.

Rape has ruined my life…

images (1)

Yes Rape Culture Exists; And If You Really Can’t See It, You Are Part Of The PROBLEM

This article gives great insight and examples to rape culture today.  I have copied and pasted it for your convenience.  Source below :



This is rape culture – and look at the damage it does

We live in a world where sexual assault can be dismissed with jokes or excuses, even used in a chatup line or plastered across a T-shirt. The UK rape statistics are shocking, and so are these harrowing reports to the Everyday Sexism Project

Laura Bates

Friday 14 February 2014 07.42 EST

What do we mean when we say “rape culture”? You may have heard the term used recently. It describes a culture in which rape and sexual assault are common (in the UK over 85,000 women are raped and 400,000 sexually assaulted every single year). It describes a culture in which dominant social norms belittledismissjoke about or even seem to condone rape and sexual assault. It describes a culture in which the normalisation of rape and sexual assault are so great that often victims are blamed, either implicitly or explicitly, when these crimes are committed against them. A culture in which other factors such as media objectification make it easier to see women as dehumanised objects for male sexual purposes alone.

It’s part of rape culture when “I’m feeling rapey” T-shirts are put up for sale on eBay. Or when a member of a University sports team goes out in a “casual rape” shirt, or another team plays a game called: “It’s not rape if …”

It’s part of rape culture when a child victim of sexual abuse is accused of being complicit and somehow “egging” on her abuser in the court case against him. It’s rape culture that makes it so hard for male victims to speak out too, because hand-in-hand with the dismissal of rape as a hilarious joke goes the stigmatisation of male rape victims as effeminate, impotent or non-existent.

Sometimes it’s hard to recognise or understand rape culture without hearing real-life examples of how it impacts on everyday lives, starting from an incredibly young age:

 Jill Nicholls @JillNicholls01

@EverydaySexism #followed home from primary school by gang of boys saying they’d rape me – didn’t know what it meant but was scared – ran

9:23 AM – 2 Mar 2013

Tasha Berg @TashaHugs

@EverydaySexism Overheard young boy on bus saying – “I’ll rape your mum so bad she can’t walk”. Sickening!

12:34 PM – 11 Feb 2014

It means that the discussion and threat of rape becomes an acceptable part of public discourse:

Rini Sardesai @ProjectReinette

@EverydaySexism Can’t go out for walks around my house bc routinely harassed, called names, and told that I need to be raped. Lovely stuff.

6:12 AM – 8 Aug 2013

Anna @Lethal_Brows

@EverydaySexism My coworker was walking me to my car after my closing shift, I thanked him and he laughed & said he could rape me right now.

10:51 AM – 23 Oct 2013

And the idea of rape becomes fair game for public jokes:

Angela Barnes @AngelaBarnes

Genuine chat up scene unfolding on this train: Boy: do you have a rape alarm?
Girl: yes
Boy: shame
I despair for humanity. @EverydaySexism

6:14 PM – 1 Feb 2014


Rape culture suggests that men have a ‘right’ to women’s bodies, thus undermining the concept of consent:

EmINy @Despairbunny

@EverydaySexism Guy I used to go out with decides he wants to restart stuff between us. When I decline he threatens to rape me #ShoutingBack

2:36 PM – 8 Jan 2013

This leads to common misconceptions about women “asking for it” or “wanting it”, even if they explicitly say otherwise:

Chocoholic Girl @chazzyb31

@EverydaySexism At a party with bf, met his friend & pregnant gf. Friend follows me into toilets & says he’s going to rape me bcs I want it.

3:09 PM – 2 Sep 2013— ♀Tw¡nk Sl¡thersby♀ (@Twinklecrepe)October 23, 2013

@EverydaySexism I was raped by a coworker. I told my boss about it; she said it wasn’t rape and implied I actually wanted it

This leads to public speculation about whether victims’ dress or behaviour could be to blame for their own assaults:

— elin who (@therosetylah)F

ebruary 11, 2014

@EverydaySexism two girls in my class were talking about how you’d only have yourself to blame for getting raped if you wore a short skirt

— Catherine (@Scathach_81)February 2, 2014

@EverydaySexism A former magistrate blames short skirts for rape on #bbctbqWelcome to 21st century Britain. #VictimBlaming

— Wolf Mommy (@Wolf_Mommy)July 30, 2013

When a man told me breastfeeding my baby in public is going to get me raped.@EverydaySexism

This shifts all the focus onto victims, while perpetrators are not addressed at all:

— The Family Buisness (@Sarah_Watsons)June 16, 2013

@EverydaySexism ever since I was little my mum told me how to not get raped but I have never heard her once tell my 2 brothers not to rape.

Rape culture can permeate every area of a woman’s life, from the pavement:

— Katie McArthur (@grrumblecakes)March 6, 2013

And FURIOUS that there are people alive who think threatening to rape me on my way to work is a funny joke #everydaysexism

To the workplace:

— AM (@adorrissey)June 17, 2013

@EverydaySexism upon hearing I was 19 and a virgin, my coworker suggested I “needed to get raped.”

From the classroom:

— Ellen Steenkamp (@EllenSteenkamp)April 18, 2013

@EverydaySexism At age 11 classmate on schooltrip stated that ‘no-one would rape me anyway cuz I’m too ugly’. Others only laughed at that

To our own homes and families:

— honey-senpai (@kawaiifriend)June 15, 2013

@EverydaySexism bought an open back t shirt for a concert a month ago; my father told me the shirt screamed “rape me”

As the word starts to lose its meaning, it becomes harder and harder to object to rape culture:— Charlie Price (@charliecat82)March 27, 2013

@EverydaySexism #LadCulture being told by an ex-boyfriend that he’d like to rape me and then he didn’t get why I was angry.

Worst of all, the widespread and normalised nature of rape culture makes it increasingly hard for victims to speak out, as they learn to believe they won’t be taken seriously, or are dismissed when they do:

— Amanda Tall (@AmandaLDTall)June 15, 2013

On a nearly empty metro 4 men shouted they wanted to rape me. Scary but we’re not meant to make a fuss so didn’t tell anyone @EverydaySexism

— Lorg Mo Chearta (@BriMonroeCarter)December 13, 2012

@EverydaySexism I was 15 & my rape happened at a party. Never reported it because I knew I would get blamed&no would believe me. #RapeIsRape

— Chitra Nagarajan (@chitranagarajan)March 13, 2012

#ididnotreport because I thought I was overreacting – when being followed by groups of men and threatened with rape

— Vidyut (@Vidyut)June 18, 2013

the usual. RT @THELOUDERMOUTH@EverydaySexism When I told friends I was raped, they said I ‘should have been more careful.’ #shoutingback

The cycle is perpetuated as victims are silenced and blamed, the crime normalised, and perpetrators completely ignored.

This is rape culture.




images (38)




unlawful sexual intercourse or any other sexual penetration of the vagina, anus, or mouth of another person, with or without force, by a sex organ, other body part, or foreign object, without the consent of the victim.

This is the definition of RAPE

“with or without force”
“without consent of the victim”
So…then why is our justice system so unresponsive and unwilling to prosecute perpetrators of this heinous crime?!?!
images (37)

Stop Saying that Nobody Supports Rape; There Are Lot’s of People Who Do

images (34)

I came across this great article by Angus Johnson, click here. For more about him, check out

His Post:

I think this was a great read! I have spoken/debated with people who have come right out and said to me, “Well there is no one out there who actually supports rape”. With all the research that I have done, and continue to do, I know that there are lot’s of people who do support rape, and it makes me sick. It made me feel really good to come across this article and see what I have already read about, so see someone who has also done the research and knows that this is in fact true. And, I really hate to say it, but I love the fact that the author is a man, because I think it just speak volumes! (Since my conversations on this topic have been with men, and them saying that no one supports rape) 

Some great highlights from Angus’s post:

For starters, of course, there’s the fact that rapists exist in society, most of them unpunished. They’re not against rape.


Take Dr. Ruth Westheimer, the sex-advice icon. Just moments ago she tweetedthat she’s “100% against rape.” Why did she feel the need to say that? Because in an interview yesterday she criticized campuses for saying that after two people are in bed together naked, a woman can still say “I changed my mind.”


This wasn’t a slip of the tongue. That’s a direct quote, and she followed it by saying that “no such thing is possible … I don’t agree with that.” She even went back and said it again later in the show.


No means no. Period. It’s not complicated.


Please check out his blog and his entire post, the link is at the top of this post.


Oh yes, and for all of those who do not know, there are the “Return of the Kings” an international group that condones rape and wants to make it legal. It is headed by Roosh V, he has followers and paid subscribers in many countries, they even do protests.

images (35)



This 17-Year-Old Explains Why Rape Is Never A ‘Mistake.’ What’s Scary Is Who He’s Talking To.

This guy is great!!

And at seventeen,  he gets it!

Create a free website or blog at

Up ↑

The Work of Ashley Ormon

Writing to inform. Editing to improve.


Americans' daily coffee ritual.....

Fixated To Free

...The Final Journey From Fixation...


A town everyone hates, yet no one leaves...


la vita e bella


Burbuqe's blog- affirmations, quotes, short stories

Frank Solanki

If you want to be a hero well just follow me

Unspoken Conversations.

Trigger Warning: Mentions of Rape/Sexual Assault.


humor. storytelling. general stupidity.

mikadO frenzy

health, food/recipes, personal venting/writing, miscellaneous


Psychology to Motivate | Inspire | Uplift


Mental health. Self improvement. Life.

Love You More

Live, Love, Inspire

My Story

One woman's story of survival

surviving the specter

Surviving through Depression. "Specter" is the personification of my depression.


Sober living in a crazy world

Speaking When the World Sleeps

The blog of a bad survivor




How I Survived Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence


the unpopular celeb


Abuse is Abuse..No and Or But Or In-between

Confessions of a Clairsentient

glimpses of life captured through the lens of the heart..

my child within

Healing from trauma

Courage Coaching


sweety5225's Blog

My thoughts about Depression, suicide and living


The musing of a country wife learning about farm life, homeschooling and honoring God in my new life.

Light-bites For Your Heart

Seeing God's wisdom shine through every circumstance

Ben's Bitter Blog

"We make bitter better."

Sambrano Times

Alexia Sambrano, editor, writer, intersectional feminist

Certainly Comment

questions concerns comments

Mark Geoffrey Kirshner

Human Rights Advocate and Electronic Editorial Journalist :focus on issuesues of Women s Rights, Human Rights in Iran, Founder: Tenth Wall Defense of Baha'i s in Iran and #TenthWall


Jln Gereja Moria RT25 RW06 Kelurahan Liliba Kupang NTT

Sweet Dreams & Rude Awakenings

Aui's Writings

Read, Write and Heal

Good Time Stories

Inspiring and Heartwarming Stories

%d bloggers like this: