Coping With Rape; I Just Don’t Understand How I Am Supposed To Do This

images (2)

I research the topic of rape every day of the week. I do this because I am looking for many things; answers, help, blog post ideas, etc.

One thing I have been researching a lot lately is how to cope with being raped. I still do not understand how anyone is capable of this (but I know that so many are stronger than me and have been successful at this). It is like I am looking for the secret.

images (3)

 

Every article I read says the same things: Seek counseling, talk about it with trusted family and friends; know that it is not your fault; realize that the perpetrator should be the one who feels guilty not you…..etc…

 

I have been actively doing everything these articles say, reaching out, seeking help, but to no avail. Coping does not seem to be in the cards for me. I wake up every single night sweating from nightmares, except for one…ONE night recently. I have flashbacks, I am scared, jumpy, depressed, emotional. I will be ok one minute and the next minute I feel like I am about to cry and loose it because memories come flooding back at random times. How long does this go on for? I just want my life back! I was so happy, and now I don’t like who I am. I am exhausted, I hardly eat, sleep, I feel like I am barley surviving. And for once, it doesn’t seem to matter how much research I do, I cannot find an answer or solution.

download (1)

 

 

2 thoughts on “Coping With Rape; I Just Don’t Understand How I Am Supposed To Do This

  1. I am so sorry you had to go through such a horrible experience. I can’t imagine recovering from it, but the fact that you’re writing about it and named your blog “a survivor not a victim” shows how strong you are and how you’re perhaps unconsciously overcoming this nightmare. I hope you stay strong and that time heals your pain.

    Liked by 2 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s