I Am Mad

By: A Survivor Not a Victim
March 19, 2016

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So, I’ve previously spoken with a person on a rape crisis hotline that said I could literally walk down the street naked, and that doesn’t mean that I’m asking to be raped.

Last night I talked with my brother’s fiancé, and she said that just because you sleep in the same bed with a man doesn’t mean that you are asking to be raped.

I was just outside talking with a neighbor about my roommate situation (how I need a new one ASAP) when I remembered the time that I went out with that neighbor, his roommate, and their friend from out of town. I was attracted to the out-of-town friend. When we all got home, he texted me, saying he wanted to come to my apartment. I told him that was fine but that I was not going to sleep with him. So he came down, and he spent the night. We slept in my bed, and he didn’t try anything; he completely respected my boundaries, and we didn’t have sex.

I’m now confident that no matter what, my roommate would have raped me. If not the day he did, he would have another other time. I lived with him for five months, and he didn’t respect my boundaries. I was shitfaced, and I even told him that I would never have sex with him. HE RAPED ME.

On that night out with my neighbors, I had been drinking, along with my neighbor’s friend, and he still didn’t do anything; he respected my boundaries.

What my former roommate did to me is NOT my fault!