By: A Survivor Not a Victim
March 29, 2016
I’m so exhausted—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I used to be so full of life.
I was that woman where people tended to flock to me no matter where I went. Maybe it’s because I always gave off such positive energy, or I was always smiling; perhaps I had a light inside me.
I don’t want this disgusting excuse for a human being to be the reason why my light goes out. But it’s just so incredibly challenging to cope.
For example, one of my favorite clients came in today for a meeting at work. He came in with two other gentlemen. I was acting how I would typically, smiling, appearing to be positive, and generally helpful, but it is hard—especially running on four or fewer hours of sleep a night for over a month now. I smiled, I small-talked, etc. When they were leaving, one of the men said, ” Now I know why (name of the client) likes coming here so much. ” That made me feel happy, and he said it right in front of one of the company owners I work for.
But later in the day, it made me feel sad. Sad because of all the energy it took for me to have those small, short interactions when normally that is just how I am.
I just want to erase my brain from what happened on February 14th.
A Survivor Not a Victim 