I was raped by my roommate on February 14th, 2016. I was 32 years old.
Like maybe most people, I thought that rape happened by people who you don’t know, and that it is always violent. That was not the case. And after doing some research, most people are raped by someone who they know.
I didn’t report it immediately, I waited 8 day’s because I was scared, I didn’t think that they would prosecute him. After talking with my brother, I decided to report it. That was awful! It was like being raped all over again. And guess what, surprise, surprise. ..the DA is not going to press charges because they cannot prove rape beyond a reasonable doubt. How FUCKED UP is that? ?? I’m sorry if after waking up to my roommate on top of me with his dick inside me, that the first thing on my mind wasn’t to go get a rape kit. All I wanted to do was take a scorching hot shower. ..like 100 of them, and pretend that it never happened. It’s like I was not even being taken seriously by the SVU!
My life has been turned upside-down. I can’t eat, can’t sleep, can’t concentrate, I am on edge, I get panic attacks, flash backs…some days I don’t even want to live.
I was granted a restraining order and he was forced to vacate the apartment. He had a scumbag lawyer who tried to talk with me before the hearing in court that day, but I wouldn’t. Their story is that we had “A one day relationship ” what the hell is that?
I even told the rapist the night before that I would never sleep with him. He clearly decided that he was going to take what he wanted anyway.
I don’t know how to get through this. I just want to feel normal. I’m scared, disgusted, I’m afraid that I could have an std, I’m depressed, the list goes on.
And all this asshole has is a civil restraining order. Who knows how many women he has done this to in the past, and how many he will do it to in the future. I don’t think people just rape once.
A Survivor Not a Victim 
Hi B, I am so sorry for what happened to you. You are so strong! Just because someone is married to you does not give them the right to demand sex when you don’t want to have sex. He forced this, and that is rape. There is no reason in the world, not even marriage that makes this ok. You are your own person, with your own thoughts and feelings, and you have every right to decline sex with anyone for any reason. I wish you the best and please reach out to me if you need someone to listen 💕
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My husband did this to me after 16 years of marriage. I confronted him and he said ‘Excuse me but I wanted to have sex.’ To this day he doesn’t believe he raped me multiple times. I got myself well enough to get a divorce – if there is no proof, it never happened.
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