By: A Survivor Not a Victim
March 13, 2016
My roommate raped me on February 14th, 2016. I was 32 years old.
Like a lot of people, I thought that rape happened by people who you don’t know and that it is always violent. That was not the case. And after doing some research, most people are raped by someone who they know.
I didn’t report it immediately; I waited eight days because I was scared and didn’t think they would prosecute him. After talking with my brother, I decided to report it. That decision was awful! It was like being raped all over again. And guess what, surprise, surprise, the DA is not going to press charges because they cannot prove rape beyond a reasonable doubt. How MESSED UP is that? I’m sorry, but after waking up to my roommate on top of and inside me, the first thing on my mind wasn’t to get a rape kit. All I wanted to do was take a scorching hot shower, like 100 of them, and pretend it never happened. I was not even being taken seriously by the police!
My life has been turned upside-down. I can’t eat, can’t sleep, can’t concentrate; I am on edge; I get panic attacks and flashbacks; some days, I don’t even want to live.
I was granted a restraining order, and he was forced to vacate the apartment. He had a scumbag lawyer who tried to talk with me before the hearing in court that day, but I wouldn’t. His story is that we had “A one-day relationship.”
I even told the rapist the night before that I would never sleep with him. He decided that he was going to take what he wanted anyway.
I don’t know how to get through this. I just want to feel normal. I’m scared, disgusted; I’m afraid that I could have an std, I’m depressed; the list goes on.
And all this rapist has is a civil restraining order. Who knows how many women he has done this to in the past and how many he will do it to in the future. I don’t think people just rape once.
A Survivor Not a Victim 
Hi Jenn, thank you. You are also strong for opening up! I am so sorry for everything that you are going through. I hope that things will start to get better for you soon. Nothing that you have been through is fair, and you deserve so much better because you are worth it 💕
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Hi. I don’t care if anyone does not believe me but here goes. I am a transfemale waiting for SRS. I was raped by a man in his 60s when I was 15 as he drugged me with cocaine/heroin cocktail and took advantage of me on his floor. I can remember this like it was yesterday and was just over a week before the first 9/11. Fast forward a few years and I was living in Florida. A neighbor had made friends with me and waited for me to get drunk one night and also took advantage of me. Fast forward to 2015. Another friend this time a female had dropped something in one of my beers and I wake up with her in my bed and no memory of the night before from ONE beer. Fast forward to today 5/8/2018. I am still living with an ex and our lease expires in Aug. I am thankfully leaving this state for the west coast but he has now raped me while I am on my period so my emotions are all over the place!!! I feel so worthless!
I am so sorry you went through this ordeal. I hope you have gotten some therapy to help heal. I live in fear the majority of the time and only feel safe at work because we are always on camera. It is total BS that man was trying to weasel out of HIS CRIME. I have realised the world is full of creepers and flakes. Real friends do not exist and anyone who has tried to get close has taken advantage. I never leave my house unless its to work or the grocery store. I hope this NEVER happens to you again! And I want you to know your amazing and strong for opening up!
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