By: A Survivor Not a Victim
March 24, 2016
While I’m not feeling particularly positive or hopeful today, I felt the urge to create a less somber post. This blog primarily focuses on the grim facts, emotions, and consequences of rape and sexual assault. Nonetheless, it’s essential to recognize that not everything has to be shrouded in darkness.
This post is dedicated to silver linings, not exclusively those stemming from rape and sexual assault.
I have sat and pondered for a good portion of the day about the silver linings of being raped to no avail. Then, since I am an avid researcher, I researched the topic. The result was even fewer examples than I could come up with on my own. But I’m stubborn, so I wouldn’t let me stop that from making this post. Although there are not many examples, I hope this will help uplift the spirits of anyone reading this post and going through any difficult time.
#1. REALIZING THAT YOU DO HAVE PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT YOU
From my experience, I’ve realized that although I understood this, many may not. Whether someone is dealing with depression or, as I did at one point, is grappling with suicidal thoughts (which may or may not have been linked to the rape in some way), it can be an incredibly isolating experience. I distinctly recall a time when I meticulously planned and researched ways to end my own life. Ultimately, I didn’t follow through with that plan, primarily because of my beloved dogs. Yet, during that dark period, I kept these feelings to myself. I hesitated to share them with anyone, unsure of how they’d react or whether they’d truly understand.
Acknowledging that not everyone will have the perfect response or immediate understanding is important. Some may need time to absorb, process, and understand what you have shared. However, this doesn’t mean they don’t care or support you. My support system expanded as I gradually opened up to people, a challenging and slow process. I still haven’t discussed my assault with some of them, as it’s a difficult topic. But just knowing they’re there, genuinely present and caring, means the world to me.
#2 YOU WILL BE STRONGER FROM THIS EXPERIENCE
I don’t share these feelings at the moment, but I hold onto the hope that someday it will ring true. What I experienced, what you’ve faced, and what another person went through – each situation is unique. This principle applies to all life situations, not just limited to rape and sexual assault. Eventually, we will be stronger, wiser, and more capable of handling anything life throws at us. If we can get through this, we CAN get through anything.
#3 HELPING OTHERS
I have always considered myself to be a caring and helpful person. Experiencing this ordeal has evoked something more in me. The aftermath of such a devastating experience has inspired me to become an advocate, and it’s what I intend to do when I’m physically and mentally capable. I know bad things happen, or people get into extremely dark places. Some individuals address their challenges and find recovery, while others do not. Some, however, manage to recover even without initially addressing their difficulties. Becoming an advocate was never something I thought I would ever do, but when a person goes through something that brings a passion they have never felt, it’s important to listen to it. Your presence and support can mean the world to someone who’s facing a situation similar to what you went through, and there are many meaningful ways to help others, such as lending a listening ear or offering a helping hand; you don’t need to be an advocate to make a difference.
A Survivor Not a Victim 