By: A Survivor Not a Victim
June 12, 2016
Today is my 33rd birthday, but it doesn’t matter; I’m not celebrating. I have no plans; I made no plans. I’m broken beyond belief because of what he has done to me.
No justice, no responsibility, and he is free to do it again to some other woman. I still can’t sleep, can’t eat, I’m anxious all the time, and so jumpy. What is the point of celebrating this year when I’m completely destroyed as a human? I don’t even want to be living most days. It is not fair, and there is nothing that I can do about it. I’m so depressed, exhausted, tired of the nightmares and flashbacks, and just living here in this apartment. There is nothing to celebrate!
A Survivor Not a Victim 
You are amazing. A strong and brilliant person. Life can seem so so utterly destroyed at times, but I promise you not everyone here is fucked up and cold.
Live long enough to experience the warmth, and you will not regret it for a moment – but here’s the hard part.
YOU have to seek it. And work hard at it! It’s not easy, at all. But….There is happiness and warmth out there – the fact that you’re still here and so clearly affected by your experience shows your compassion, your love (in your outrage of what happened) and your commitment. You are so alive, and so beautiful. Find strength in other survivors. Find happiness in animals and nature. Just don’t give up… not now.
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I was there and understand that feeling of nothing getting better and no one understanding why I just can’t get over it no one understands that it’s not a race to getting better and over it (I don’t believe anyone can truly get over it but we learn to think about it less and move forward)
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