Today Is My Birthday…But It Doesn’t Even Matter

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Today is my 33rd birthday…but it doesn’t even matter…I am not even celebrating. I have no plans, I made no plans. I am broken beyond belief because of what he has done to me. No justice, no responsibility, free to do it again to some other woman. I still can’t sleep, can’t eat, I am anxious all the time, jumpy….what is the point on celebrating this year when I am completely destroyed as a human. I don’t even want to be living most day’s. It is not fair and there is nothing that I can do about it. I am so depressed, exhausted, tired of the nightmares, flashbacks and…just living….there is nothing to celebrate!

 

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7 thoughts on “Today Is My Birthday…But It Doesn’t Even Matter

  1. You are amazing. A strong and brilliant person. Life can seem so so utterly destroyed at times, but I promise you not everyone here is fucked up and cold.
    Live long enough to experience the warmth, and you will not regret it for a moment – but here’s the hard part.
    YOU have to seek it. And work hard at it! It’s not easy, at all. But….There is happiness and warmth out there – the fact that you’re still here and so clearly affected by your experience shows your compassion, your love (in your outrage of what happened) and your commitment. You are so alive, and so beautiful. Find strength in other survivors. Find happiness in animals and nature. Just don’t give up… not now.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I was there and understand that feeling of nothing getting better and no one understanding why I just can’t get over it no one understands that it’s not a race to getting better and over it (I don’t believe anyone can truly get over it but we learn to think about it less and move forward)

    Liked by 1 person

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