Search

A Survivor Not a Victim

Overcoming Rape

Tag

Rape is a World Problem

I’m (We Are ALL) Living In Rape Culture; This Conversation Actually Happened Last Night

images (1)

Last night I was talking with a “friend” who I had previously confided about being raped. We were talking because I was upset, I am having such a hard time moving on. My life is a mess, I am not myself, and I feel ruined.

As we were talking she said, “How do you even know for sure that you were raped? How do you know that is the whole story? What he did was wrong, but how do you know for sure that it was rape? You said yourself that you were so drunk, and you woke up to him on top of you and in you. How do you know that you were’t black out? I don’t think if a person is drunk that it really can be rape”

images (6)
Are you FUCKING ME?!?!?! I told her that regardless, even though I completely disagree with her, I told him no that night, that “I was never going to sleep with him” What he did WAS rape. I did not give consent, in fact I already told him no earlier, and I was not in a position to give consent. She said that I was drunk, and that I should have never gotten in the bed with him in the fist place….I was completely shocked to be hearing  this…from her. He was in my bed, in my room. I didn’t know why, I as shitfaced, tired, and figured that since I knew I made it clear that I would never have sex, that I had nothing to worry about. I was wearing clothes…it isn’t like I went to bed naked!! I had no idea that he would do that to me. And I couldn’t believe what she was saying. We argued about this for an hour, and it just made me sick. She really thinks that if a person is drunk, they cannot be raped. 

I have been a mess all day. I already feel like shit, and cannot cope with what happened, then I hear this from a supposed “friend” who was “trying to help”. What she is doing is victim blaming, making excuses for rapists, and saying that it is ok to rape drunk people.

I was raped, I have not doubt about it. There is no other explanation, no excuse. It doesn’t matter if I was drunk, he raped me, period, end of story. If this is what a “friend” thinks of certain types of rape situations, then what does the majority of society think. This is a prime example of rape culture….and it needs to end!

images

Stop Saying that Nobody Supports Rape; There Are Lot’s of People Who Do

images (34)

I came across this great article by Angus Johnson, click here. For more about him, check out AngusJohnston.com.

His Post: https://studentactivism.net/2015/06/02/stop-saying-that-nobody-supports-rape-lots-of-people-support-rape/

I think this was a great read! I have spoken/debated with people who have come right out and said to me, “Well there is no one out there who actually supports rape”. With all the research that I have done, and continue to do, I know that there are lot’s of people who do support rape, and it makes me sick. It made me feel really good to come across this article and see what I have already read about, so see someone who has also done the research and knows that this is in fact true. And, I really hate to say it, but I love the fact that the author is a man, because I think it just speak volumes! (Since my conversations on this topic have been with men, and them saying that no one supports rape) 

Some great highlights from Angus’s post:

For starters, of course, there’s the fact that rapists exist in society, most of them unpunished. They’re not against rape.

 

Take Dr. Ruth Westheimer, the sex-advice icon. Just moments ago she tweetedthat she’s “100% against rape.” Why did she feel the need to say that? Because in an interview yesterday she criticized campuses for saying that after two people are in bed together naked, a woman can still say “I changed my mind.”

 

This wasn’t a slip of the tongue. That’s a direct quote, and she followed it by saying that “no such thing is possible … I don’t agree with that.” She even went back and said it again later in the show.

 

No means no. Period. It’s not complicated.

 

Please check out his blog and his entire post, the link is at the top of this post.

 

Oh yes, and for all of those who do not know, there are the “Return of the Kings” an international group that condones rape and wants to make it legal. It is headed by Roosh V, he has followers and paid subscribers in many countries, they even do protests.

images (35)

 

 

Too Much Focus On “But Are They A Rapist?” And Not Enough On The Victim

17883530-mmmain

I cannot comprehend the society that we live in! Rape is the only crime where IF……and I mean IF….the victim comes forward and reports it, they are treated like a criminal. They are not taken seriously, and the main focus is “Oh, but were you really raped? What were you wearing, were you drinking, doing drugs, flirting, did you date, did you say no, if you said no, did you fight back, could you have fought back harder, why were you alone at night, why did you get in the car, why were you in that situation to begin with, did you get a rape kit – no – WHY…???…etc.

There is such a heavy focus on protecting rapists and their “character” that police, DA’s friends, family don’t want to get involved .

And people wonder why such a small percentage of rapes are actually reported!

I reported my rape, I worked with detectives, and in less than 24 hours, the detective called me and said that the DA was not going to move forward with my case? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?!?!?!?!?!? They didn’t even question my rapist!! I was outraged, I had a breakdown on the phone.

Unless things change, Rapists are going to continue to rape at the already alarming rate that they do. Why – because they know that the chances of getting caught, or in trouble are slim to none! This IS RAPE CULTURE.

16046498._SX540_

I am so fed up with reading about how rape culture does not exist. Look at the facts, look at the statistics. As long as the chances of serious consequences are extremely low, it enforces that society does not take rape seriously. People turn a blind eye and until that changes, society is reinforcing that rape is acceptable.

Hardly any rape victims who come forward and seek justice actually get it, me included. Times that by how many rapists there are out there. Now come on, do you seriously think that one person rapes another person just once and never again?!? I am sure that it is happened, but realistically, I don’t believe that is the case with 99.9% of people who have committed the heinous crime of rape.

I don’t want to be apart of a world that reinforces rape, protects rapists, and condemns victims, what kind of world do you want to live in?

And I know that my pictures with the statistics are US statistics, but the reality that rape culture and the reinforcement of it is displayed all over the WORLD!

rape culture

 

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

threesmallwords

I was raped

Fixated To Free

...The Final Journey From Fixation...

518-songofmypeople

A town everyone hates, yet no one leaves...

laurenruiz

la vita e bella

burbuqeraufi

Burbuqe's blog- affirmations, quotes, short stories

Frank Solanki

If you want to be a hero well just follow me

Unspoken Conversations.

Trigger Warning: Mentions of Rape/Sexual Assault.

nicolesundays

humor. storytelling. general stupidity.

mikadO frenzy

health, food/recipes, personal venting/writing, miscellaneous

MakeItUltra™

Psychology to Motivate | Inspire | Uplift

WaveringParisian

Mental health. Self improvement. Life.

Love You More

Live, Love, Inspire

My Story

One woman's story of survival

surviving the specter

Surviving through Depression. "Specter" is the personification of my depression.

crazysobergirl

Sober living in a crazy world

Speaking When the World Sleeps

The blog of a bad survivor

POSSIBILITY IN EVERY OPPORTUNITY

THERE IS NO HARM IN DOING YOUR BEST

overcomeabuse

How I Survived Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence

ShySnail

the unpopular celeb

50-shades-of-abuse

Abuse is Abuse..No and Or But Or In-between

Richardsiaw.com

The unsaid of Africa

Confessions of a Clairsentient

glimpses of life captured through the lens of the heart..

my child within

Healing from trauma

Courage Coaching

HELPING YOU TAKE THAT FIRST STEP

sweety5225's Blog

My thoughts about Depression, suicide and living

trsimplicity

The musing of a country wife learning about farm life, homeschooling and honoring God in my new life.

Light-bites For Your Heart

Seeing God's wisdom shine through every circumstance

Ben's Bitter Blog

"We make bitter better."

Sambrano Times

Alexia Sambrano, editor, writer, intersectional feminist

Certainly Comment

questions concerns comments

Mark Geoffrey Kirshner

Human Rights Advocate and Electronic Editorial Journalist :focus on issuesues of Women s Rights, Human Rights in Iran, Founder: Tenth Wall Defense of Baha'i s in Iran and #TenthWall

PEMBANGUNAN MENERANGI DAN MENCERDASKAN

Jln Gereja Moria RT25 RW06 Kelurahan Liliba Kupang NTT

Sweet Dreams & Rude Awakenings

sweetdreamsxxxrudeawakenings.wordpress.com

Aui's Writings

Read, Write and Heal

Good Time Stories

Inspiring and Heartwarming Stories

%d bloggers like this: