I am lucky that I actually do have a support system, even when I feel like I don’t. It’s my own personal demons in dealing with this horrible situation that make me feel that way.
The truth is, this isn’t easy to talk about with loved ones and with people who care about me. And if the situation were reversed, I don’t know what I would do except tell the person that I care about them, and that I am and will be there for them in anyway they need me.
Rape doesn’t just affect the victim, it affects their loved ones and everyone who cares about them. It is just a hard situation all around.
So while I have been slowly telling people close to me one by one, because it is just too overwhelming to do it all at once, immediately, it still isn’t easy, and I still don’t like to talk about it
Everyone so far has been amazing, and I don’t at all want to take away from that with what I am about to say next.
So while it is important to have a support system, relying on other people 27/7 is simply unrealistic. It’s just a fact of life. I know that people might not be available at 3 in the morning when I am having a breakdown, or a another time on any given day because everyone has things going on in their lives. This doesn’t mean that they are not there for me, they are, and I know that they will continue to be. I do have realistic expectations. Additionally, sometimes I am having a breakdown, and I don’t want to reach out to anyone because I don’t even know how to express what is going on in my mind.
This all being said, there are two special lil ones in my life that are, have been, and will always be there for me 24 hours a day, 7 day’s a week. My adorable, sweet, trouble making chihuahuas. They know that I am not well. They have been so sensitive to my needs. If I didn’t have them, I don’t know where I would be right now. I am so thankful every day for these two amazing dog’s ( even when they drive me nuts)
They are so full of love and affection. They really mean everything to me. It’s them combined with the support of family and friends that I will hopefully, one day, find a sense of normalcy and peace again.
A Survivor Not a Victim 