Today, I spent the majority of the afternoon researching this topic to write a post about how rape destroys the lives of the victim and their families and friends. Well, I was in for a shock when I saw what that search result yielded!
That did lead me to a whole other set of research and a different topic of discussion, but I became so upset, so sad, angry, depressed. ..you name it, I felt it!
At first I was not going to write at all today, but then I decided to stick with my original idea. . RAPE RUINS LIVES
As of right now, yes, my life is in shambles. This rape has effected every relationship that I have, it has effected my work, my sleep, my eating, my self worth, my view of my image, my sanity.
Every day is a nightmare ! Some day’s might have some small happy moments sprinkled in that last for a very short time, but each and every day, whether I am awake or asleep is a nightmare.I’m afraid to sleep because of the nightmares I get, I am afraid to be awake because of the thoughts, visions, flashbacks, jumpiness, anxiety, and constantly looking over my shoulder. I am devised that I can’t get justice, like so many others, and my rapist walks around free to do the exact same thing to someone else, living his life like nothing happened. I wouldn’t even be surprised if he goes home at night and jerks off to his crime!
When is it going to end? How many more victims do there have to be before things change? Before society changes? I ask myself this question many times a day.
How many more? How many more? How many more? How many more? This plays over and over again in my head on repeat!
I am fighting. Doing everything I can. Reaching out to advocates, lawyer’s, Senator’s, but it is an up hill battle. It’s like there is justice for victims, and the law and society is so
concerned about protecting rapists!
Of all the people who I told that I was raped, and they replied to me saying that they had also been raped, all of their rapists never got to trial or anything! (Accept one, the verdict is still out on that friend, the evidence is still being collected. I think about this friend every day and I hope. …I hope so much that their rapist is tried, convicted, and put away!)
Victims matter! We matter way more than the monsters who rape us!
How many more?