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Yes Rape Culture Exists; And If You Really Can’t See It, You Are Part Of The PROBLEM

This article gives great insight and examples to rape culture today.  I have copied and pasted it for your convenience.  Source below :

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/womens-blog/2014/feb/14/rape-culture-damage-it-does-everyday-sexism

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This is rape culture – and look at the damage it does

We live in a world where sexual assault can be dismissed with jokes or excuses, even used in a chatup line or plastered across a T-shirt. The UK rape statistics are shocking, and so are these harrowing reports to the Everyday Sexism Project

Laura Bates

Friday 14 February 2014 07.42 EST

What do we mean when we say “rape culture”? You may have heard the term used recently. It describes a culture in which rape and sexual assault are common (in the UK over 85,000 women are raped and 400,000 sexually assaulted every single year). It describes a culture in which dominant social norms belittledismissjoke about or even seem to condone rape and sexual assault. It describes a culture in which the normalisation of rape and sexual assault are so great that often victims are blamed, either implicitly or explicitly, when these crimes are committed against them. A culture in which other factors such as media objectification make it easier to see women as dehumanised objects for male sexual purposes alone.

It’s part of rape culture when “I’m feeling rapey” T-shirts are put up for sale on eBay. Or when a member of a University sports team goes out in a “casual rape” shirt, or another team plays a game called: “It’s not rape if …”

It’s part of rape culture when a child victim of sexual abuse is accused of being complicit and somehow “egging” on her abuser in the court case against him. It’s rape culture that makes it so hard for male victims to speak out too, because hand-in-hand with the dismissal of rape as a hilarious joke goes the stigmatisation of male rape victims as effeminate, impotent or non-existent.

Sometimes it’s hard to recognise or understand rape culture without hearing real-life examples of how it impacts on everyday lives, starting from an incredibly young age:


 Jill Nicholls @JillNicholls01

@EverydaySexism #followed home from primary school by gang of boys saying they’d rape me – didn’t know what it meant but was scared – ran

9:23 AM – 2 Mar 2013


Tasha Berg @TashaHugs

@EverydaySexism Overheard young boy on bus saying – “I’ll rape your mum so bad she can’t walk”. Sickening!

12:34 PM – 11 Feb 2014


It means that the discussion and threat of rape becomes an acceptable part of public discourse:


Rini Sardesai @ProjectReinette

@EverydaySexism Can’t go out for walks around my house bc routinely harassed, called names, and told that I need to be raped. Lovely stuff.

6:12 AM – 8 Aug 2013


Anna @Lethal_Brows

@EverydaySexism My coworker was walking me to my car after my closing shift, I thanked him and he laughed & said he could rape me right now.

10:51 AM – 23 Oct 2013


And the idea of rape becomes fair game for public jokes:


Angela Barnes @AngelaBarnes

Genuine chat up scene unfolding on this train: Boy: do you have a rape alarm?
Girl: yes
Boy: shame
I despair for humanity. @EverydaySexism

6:14 PM – 1 Feb 2014

 


Rape culture suggests that men have a ‘right’ to women’s bodies, thus undermining the concept of consent:


EmINy @Despairbunny

@EverydaySexism Guy I used to go out with decides he wants to restart stuff between us. When I decline he threatens to rape me #ShoutingBack

2:36 PM – 8 Jan 2013


This leads to common misconceptions about women “asking for it” or “wanting it”, even if they explicitly say otherwise:


Chocoholic Girl @chazzyb31

@EverydaySexism At a party with bf, met his friend & pregnant gf. Friend follows me into toilets & says he’s going to rape me bcs I want it.


3:09 PM – 2 Sep 2013— ♀Tw¡nk Sl¡thersby♀ (@Twinklecrepe)October 23, 2013

@EverydaySexism I was raped by a coworker. I told my boss about it; she said it wasn’t rape and implied I actually wanted it


This leads to public speculation about whether victims’ dress or behaviour could be to blame for their own assaults:


— elin who (@therosetylah)F

ebruary 11, 2014

@EverydaySexism two girls in my class were talking about how you’d only have yourself to blame for getting raped if you wore a short skirt


— Catherine (@Scathach_81)February 2, 2014

@EverydaySexism A former magistrate blames short skirts for rape on #bbctbqWelcome to 21st century Britain. #VictimBlaming


— Wolf Mommy (@Wolf_Mommy)July 30, 2013

When a man told me breastfeeding my baby in public is going to get me raped.@EverydaySexism


This shifts all the focus onto victims, while perpetrators are not addressed at all:


— The Family Buisness (@Sarah_Watsons)June 16, 2013

@EverydaySexism ever since I was little my mum told me how to not get raped but I have never heard her once tell my 2 brothers not to rape.


Rape culture can permeate every area of a woman’s life, from the pavement:


— Katie McArthur (@grrumblecakes)March 6, 2013

And FURIOUS that there are people alive who think threatening to rape me on my way to work is a funny joke #everydaysexism


To the workplace:


— AM (@adorrissey)June 17, 2013

@EverydaySexism upon hearing I was 19 and a virgin, my coworker suggested I “needed to get raped.”


From the classroom:


— Ellen Steenkamp (@EllenSteenkamp)April 18, 2013

@EverydaySexism At age 11 classmate on schooltrip stated that ‘no-one would rape me anyway cuz I’m too ugly’. Others only laughed at that


To our own homes and families:


— honey-senpai (@kawaiifriend)June 15, 2013

@EverydaySexism bought an open back t shirt for a concert a month ago; my father told me the shirt screamed “rape me”


As the word starts to lose its meaning, it becomes harder and harder to object to rape culture:— Charlie Price (@charliecat82)March 27, 2013

@EverydaySexism #LadCulture being told by an ex-boyfriend that he’d like to rape me and then he didn’t get why I was angry.


Worst of all, the widespread and normalised nature of rape culture makes it increasingly hard for victims to speak out, as they learn to believe they won’t be taken seriously, or are dismissed when they do:


— Amanda Tall (@AmandaLDTall)June 15, 2013

On a nearly empty metro 4 men shouted they wanted to rape me. Scary but we’re not meant to make a fuss so didn’t tell anyone @EverydaySexism


— Lorg Mo Chearta (@BriMonroeCarter)December 13, 2012

@EverydaySexism I was 15 & my rape happened at a party. Never reported it because I knew I would get blamed&no would believe me. #RapeIsRape


— Chitra Nagarajan (@chitranagarajan)March 13, 2012

#ididnotreport because I thought I was overreacting – when being followed by groups of men and threatened with rape


— Vidyut (@Vidyut)June 18, 2013

the usual. RT @THELOUDERMOUTH@EverydaySexism When I told friends I was raped, they said I ‘should have been more careful.’ #shoutingback


The cycle is perpetuated as victims are silenced and blamed, the crime normalised, and perpetrators completely ignored.

This is rape culture.

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Rape

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rape1

noun

1.

unlawful sexual intercourse or any other sexual penetration of the vagina, anus, or mouth of another person, with or without force, by a sex organ, other body part, or foreign object, without the consent of the victim.

This is the definition of RAPE

“with or without force”
“without consent of the victim”
So…then why is our justice system so unresponsive and unwilling to prosecute perpetrators of this heinous crime?!?!
Worldwide – THIS IS A HUGE PROBLEM!
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How I Feel After Being Raped; The ABC’s

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Awful

Broken

Choked 

Damaged

Emotional 

Fearful 

Guilty 

Hurt

Insignificant 

Jittery 

Kaput

Lost

Mutilated 

Nervous 

Overwhelmed 

Paralyzed 

Queasy

Restless 

Suicidal

Tired 

Undefinable

Violated 

Weak

X – is his name ie THE RAPIST 

Yucky

Zero

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Brock Turner Rapist. .. Blaming College “Party Culture”

Full article

http://abcnews.go.com/US/stanford-student-brock-turner-blames-party-culture-sexual/story?id=39702144

petition-targets-judge-in-stanford-rape-case

Brock Turner,  typical rapist as displayed in this article.  He blames peer pressure to drink and party culture for making a “bad decision “.

Brock Turner  the rapist – “My poor decision-making and excessive drinking hurt someone that night, and I wish I could just take it all back”

Rapists never admit blame, it is always something or someone else.

It makes me laugh but also furious how he says that he made a “bad decision ” due to drinking.  No…no,no,no!!!! A bad decision would be drinking too much and puking all over your friends apartment,  or getting into a ridiculous argument with a good friend where you said some awful things that you didn’t mean, or  partying so hard that you miss a midterm /final. Those are bad decisions.  Raping an unconscious person behind a dumpster  (mind you,  there were two actual physical eyewitnesses who caught this creep in the act) does not qualify as a “bad decision “.

Here is where we see Brock Turner the rapist trying to plea with anyone who will listen that he is the victim here. That is the bottom line.

Brock Turner the rapist – “I want to take what I can from who I was before this situation happened and use it to the best of my abilities moving forward. I know I can show people who were like me the dangers of assuming what college life can be like without thinking about the consequences one would potentially have to make if one were to make the same decisions that I made”

Oh, and check out this gem that I found posted by Brock the rapist himself….

brockturnerrapist

I encourage you to read the full article,  it is just. …I don’t even have words!

Brock Turner the rapist – “There isn’t a second that has gone by where I haven’t regretted the course of events I took on January 17th/18th. My shell and core of who I am as a person is forever broken from this. I am a changed person. At this point in my life, I never want to have a drop of alcohol again. I never want to attend a social gathering that involves alcohol or any situation where people make decisions based on the substances they have consumed. I never want to experience being in a position where it will have a negative impact on my life or someone else’s ever again”

And the young woman addressed this in her letter to him;

Victim – “If you are hoping that one of my organs will implode from anger and I will die, I’m almost there. You are very close,” her letter reads in part. “This is not a story of another drunk college hook-up with poor decision-making. Assault is not an accident. Somehow, you still don’t get it. Somehow, you still sound confused”

Changes need to be made, Brock Turner is not a “nice guy” he is a rapist…period, the reinforcement of rape culture needs to end!

10waysnottorape

Finally Got The Courage To Get A Copy Of My Police Report

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Since the DA will not prosecute my RAPIST, I have been forced to seek other means of justice. I have been working withe the victim law advocates, and they are trying to find me an attorney who might take my case to civil court. So far I have had no success.

Last night I was doing research for my blog, and I came across a site, and a lawyer who looked liked they might be able to help (maybe). I looked up this lawyer and emailed them. I received a response. This lawyer requested all restraining order documents and police reports.I sent all the restraining order documents, but I still never picked up the police report, I just haven’t been able to bring myself to do it.

Today I went to pick it up so I can send it to the lawyer tomorrow.

I was furious!! With what I saw in the report….or rather what I did not see!!

#1 – The section with the information about the rapist. I am fairly certain that I told the detectives that he is not a citizen of this country. Even if I am wrong, they know that is information relevant to the report, and they never asked me (but I am fairly certain that I told him…it should be in there!!!!!!!)

#2 – The description of what happened, it was very short, fine, a summary, but no where does it say that I told this asshole that I wold never have sex with him . I explicitly said that to him that night! I told the detectives that more than once! Why in the hell wasn’t it in the report?!?! Especially because the DA decided in the leingtt of less than 48 hours that they were not going to press charges, and the detectives never even questioned the rapist!!!

I feel like these detectives didn’t give a care in the world, and only did this paperwork because they “had to”. Oh, a girl was drinking and she “got raped”.

It is like they didn’t believe me.

What, I can’t drink in my own home and go to sleep in my own bed without being raped?

I am so outraged!

I want so bad to name my rapist!! He needs to be brought to justice!

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Types Of Rapists; Knowledge Is Power

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Until the criminal justice system decides to make some changes,  and actually make the consequences for raping someone more strict, people are going to continue to rape because they know that they will most likely get away with it .

This article talks talks about the types of rapists,  their mo, and what you could do (god forbid ) if you find yourself in this awful situation .

I per think that people need to be taught not to rape,  and that they should be held accountable to the fullest,  but in the meantime,  I thought this would be good to share,  it is something that I Def wish I knew prior to my rape.

http://faculty.csbsju.edu/uspp/crimpsych/CPSG-5.htm

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Rape : Fight Back And Report

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I came across this page on the net;http://drlwilson.com/articles/RAPE.htm

Of all the things that I read on it, the words below stuck in my mind…

“FIGHT BACK

If possible, always report rapes. Otherwise, rapists usually strike again and again.  They can be some of the most violent and vile criminals in existence.  Do not be intimidated.

If you can, go public with your rape. Rapists dislike publicity.  Rape thrives on secrecy.  Going public with your rape is needed at this time in order to increase the ridiculously short jail sentences for rape.”

This is not an easy thing to do,  I have been there personally.

But thefact remains is that this is a true statement.  I told my boyfriend what happened,  immediately.  I have never,  nor would I ever cheat on someone,  and while the circumstances of our relationship were in flux (but not defined,  as we were upset with each other over miss communicated texts ) be that as is may, I am seriously questioning if I am in love with this man, I’m not the person,  nor have I ever been to jump into bed with someone else for any reason other than true feelings.

I was raped.  When I told my rapist that I told my boyfriend what happened,  he got this look on his face like he had seen a ghost.  Then he had the audacity to say to me ” I wish you consulted me before you told him”.SERIOUSLY? !?! Like what?  Like we had a love affair?  I  woke up with his dick inside me! I  couldn’t believe his comment!  I  guess I also couldn’t believe that he raped me.

The point is, YES! Rapists thrive on secrecy,  my rapist prooved that.

Please if anyone out there has been raped,  or god forbid ever falls victim to rape,  please please please consider reporting.

We needto change the way society sees victims,  and we need to change laws.

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Rape Destroys Lives

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Today,  I spent the majority of the afternoon researching this topic to write a post about how rape destroys the lives of the victim and their families and friends.  Well, I was in for a shock when I saw what that search result yielded! 

That did lead me to a whole other set of research and a different topic of discussion,  but I became so upset,  so sad, angry,  depressed. ..you name it,  I felt it!

At first I was not going to write at all today,  but then I decided to stick with my original idea. . RAPE RUINS LIVES

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As of right now,  yes, my life is in shambles.  This rape has effected every relationship that I have,  it has effected my work,  my sleep,  my eating,  my self worth,  my view of my image,  my sanity.

Every day is a nightmare !  Some day’s might have some small happy moments sprinkled in that last for images (34)a very short time,  but each and every day, whether I am awake or asleep is a nightmare.I’m afraid to sleep because of the nightmares I get, I am afraid to be awake because of the thoughts,  visions,  flashbacks,  jumpiness,  anxiety,  and constantly looking over my shoulder. I am devised that I can’t get justice,  like so many others,  and my rapist walks around free to do the exact same thing to someone else,  living his life like nothing happened.  I  wouldn’t even be surprised if he goes home at night and jerks off to his crime!

When is it going to end? How many more victims do there have to be before things change?  Before society changes? I  ask myself this question many times a day.

How many more?  How many more?  How many more?  How many morimages (33)e?  This plays over and over again in my head on repeat!

I am fighting.  Doing everything I can.  Reaching out to advocates,  lawyer’s,  Senator’s,  but it is an up hill battle.  It’s like there is justice for victims,  and the law and society is so
concerned about protecting rapists!

Of all the people who I told that I was raped,  and they replied to me saying that they had also been raped,  all of their rapists never got to trial or anything!  (Accept one, the verdict is still out on that friend, the evidence is still being collected.  I think about this friend every day and I hope. …I hope so much that their rapist is tried,  convicted,  and put away!)

Victims matter!  We matter way more than the monsters who rape us!

How many more?

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Watch Why This Man Thinks Rape is Halarious (I was in tears )

I know that my blog talks mostly about women being raped.  I don’t do it on purpose.  I am a woman,  who was raped,  and I talk alot about my experience and feelings.

There are far too many men that get raped,  and I think realistically,  the percentage is much higher than the current estimate.

Please take a look at this video,  it is heart breaking,  it’s a man who was raped.

RAPE AND SEXUAL ASSAULT NEED TO END!

http://9gag.com/tv/p/a5bYDw/why-rape-is-sincerely-hilarious

 

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