Let’s talkk about consent……
People are taught that consent is a “yes”. But clearly there is a lot of confusion about this topic. I was initially going to make this more of a facetious post geared towards the individuals who disregard boundaries , but number one, that is not who my audience is, and number two, the intent of my blog is to be helpful. ..so I ditched that part of my idea.
Still, people act as if consent is grey when it is really black and white. I will use me for an example. I know that I didn’t give consent. I verbally told him no and that it was never going to happen. He raped me when I was passed out and I woke up to it. However, that day and the next, being raped really messes with your mind and makes you question everything. Not only did I not want to believe that I was raped, I never thought that it would happen to me. Knowing that I didn’t give consent wasn’t enough, it was like I need proof of some sort for my mind.
So I came up with an idea to post what consent is not. So if sex occurs from any of the below, there is no need to doubt or second guess, it is rape.
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raped me. My dreams, flashbacks, sleeping issues, concentration, eating issues, etc. are really not improving much at all. I am beyond exhausted, physically, mentally and spiritually. Feeling like this is new to me (I am not speaking to feeling like being raped…or I suppose maybe in a way I am). By nature I am a happy positive person. In my life, I have dealt with many downs, some very dark and very bad (like everyone). That being said, I have always had the ability to bounce back quickly, see the positive, and not live in despair. I am(or should I say WAS) like that annoying stereotypical happy person that pessimists and people who are in a bad or fair mood detest…lol.
g. I don’t know how to focus like this, I don’t know how to stop the nightmares, the flashbacks, the looking over my shoulder, the always being jumpy. I am sinking deeper and deeper into sadness, despair, confusion, and un-expressible emotions. I have never in my life ever been like this and it scares me. If there is one thing I know, it is self expression and communication. This is uncharted territory.
se my soul died that day, yet I have to walk this earth every day in despair with horrible thoughts, feelings, flashbacks and memories that I don’t know how I will ever erase. I am tormented every day, and the thought that he gets to walk around free, not having to admit what he did, no repercussions, a clean record, with the ability to do this to someone else makes me sick. I am I supposed to have hope when the justice system has failed me, much like it fails most rape victims. I don’t see how it is possible. At least if I had the courage to do something that day, maybe the outcome would have been different, maybe I wouldn’t feel this way, maybe I would start my journey of hope. I just don’t see how that is even possible at this point.
st, nor have I ever kissed him, or ever gave him a verbal inclination that I was ever interested in him. The thing that kills me is that I told him that…THAT NIGHT, that I would never sleep with him..ever! Those were my words! I was in shock and horror that morning when I woke up with no underwear on, to him fucking me! It was like I left my body, so surreal. I was scared, intimidated, and disturbed. I just, froze, I have never felt like that. And I was still so drunk! I just wish so much that I could go back and do things differently. And, I wish that some type of justice would be served!
